A Blog that I started and never finished or published from June of 2014...

 

Pirates, Pacifier and Pre-school

Just when we thought things were going to begin to slow down….. they didn’t. Vaughn recently saw the eye doctor and since he has been pretty good at wearing his glasses, she told us to start patching his right eye (the good one) to teach his brain to use the left eye. Imagine how confusing it would be to have a stigmatism in only one eye. Then we are going to put a patch over the eye that one would use to see and put his glasses on top of all that. He is such a good sport. We patched for the first time yesterday while watching TV and it went ok right until I had to take it off.

We saw Dr. Mary last week (our Pediatrician) as Vaughn was struggling again to eat and his balance and equilibrium seem to be worse lately. We made an appointment to see her after our screening with Child Find for Pre-school. Yes, I said Pre-school, can you believe it? We can’t….while we were there the Audiologist tried to do a basic hearing test on Vaughn and wasn’t able to do so because she discovered some fluid in his left ear. The boys haven’t been sick for months so I was concerned but she said it wasn’t an infection so he should be fine. Later in the screening, Vaughn tripped over nothing in particular and bumped his head pretty bad, a great example of our concerns. When I am telling our OT the details of the event she mentioned that having chronic fluid in your ear can throw off your balance. Jerad and I were already wondering about his hearing because of the huge delay in his speech so I didn’t need to hear anymore, we were going to get a script for a hearing test. We are scheduled to see an ENT doctor later this month to see what can be done about the fluid and have his hearing checked. The ears, nose and throat specialty is a new department at Children’s for us. We advanced Vaughn’s dose of daily prevacid and are praying this will help his appetite.

Asher is starting to advance into a typical “full term” toddler as he spends most of his days in time out or being told no. He is exploring his independence and will and has an amazing memory. I am grateful for his progress but find it challenging most of the time as Vaughn isn’t at the same cognitive level as his identical twin brother.

Vaughn and Asher turn 3 in October and will be heading off to pre-school to continue with their therapies.  Three just seems so young to go to school but I am sure it is just my heart strings being pulled as I try to imagine them being away from me a couple days a week. With that said, it was time to wean away from the beloved pacifier. I say beloved because not only do the twins love it, so do I. There was no way I was going to send them to pre-school still using a pasi, so we have started the process. They only have them in bed or the car. They are adapting better than I thought! One of the boy’s favorite songs right now is Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes and it really does apply to Vaughn right now. “Eyes and Ears and Mouth and Nose” well so far all is well with his nose!

Things to Remember....

This past year and a half has been unlike any time of my life.... we have struggled with deep sadness and exceeded new milestones we just prayed and hoped to achieve. Our family moved into a new house, neighborhood and town. Jerad took a leap of faith and started a new career. We have found a new church home and have begun to plant some roots here in this quaint little town called Johnstown. 

I had started a couple blogs and never finished them.... one would think that with the boys in their first year of pre-school I would have so much time on my hands and yet, the time just shifted. The time looks different, instead of grocery shopping after they lay their heads down at night, I go while they are in school so I have more time with Jerad. And if Jerad is home, it is hard for me to do my own thing (well unless a new season of Glee is just released). I started this blog as a way to communicate with our friends and family all the ups and downs of the boys preemie journey and I believe as their medical/therapy needs decreased, my time of writing did too. What a blessing to say this! Vaughn and Asher will be 4 in October and as they are growing up, I want to remember each stage and cherish the memories we are making....I want to leave a legacy for them to remember God's goodness in all things, at all times.

Vaughn is courageous! This mighty man of mine has no fear and an adventurous spirit! He is independent and strong willed and has his Mamma wrapped around his finger. Vaughn still has a little torticollis in his neck and though we are not currently working on it, I think as he gets older and can do the exercise's on his own and understands the benefits of them, we will be able to work it out. We are very slowly trying to wean him off his medication for acid reflux and his appetite has increased tremendously since going back to chiropractic care. Vaughn will always wear glasses or contacts as he gets older for his left eye as he has a stigmatism but if that is the only issue that he has from being born at 29 weeks and weighing 1 pound then I consider that a miracle. We are in our last round of dilating his right eye to help his brain focus on using his left eye and will meet with the ophthalmologist in a couple of months to decide the next coarse of action (Amblyopia in his left eye which is a decrease in vision from lack of stimulation and Exotropia which means his eye drifts out). He hasn't grown out of his sensory issues yet but there is still time and his school and teachers do an amazing job of just pushing him enough to try new textures and experiences. Vaughn loves Thomas the Train and humus. He will try and eat almost anything and this has been so rewarding as we have worked really hard to get him to eat!

Asher has lived up to his name to the fullest, he is happy and daily we are blessed by his compassionate character. He is talking so much and I am enjoying our little conversations. Asher has graduated from needing occupational services (fine motor skills) and is just beginning to experiment with walking up and down the stairs with out any assistance. Asher is really into music and Blue's Clue's. Asher isn't as open to eating new foods but we are working on having a larger variety of choices for this little tank. He is a good eater though and is on the growth chart for his age (not the corrected age) at the doctors office.

We are so proud of the boys growth and development and can't wait to see how much they will learn in their next full year of preschool. Both boys love all things cars, trucks, and tractors! We don't sit through a movie so we haven't experienced the movie theatre just yet but I see that happening soon. They also like dinosaurs, books, and swimming. Grandpa and Grandma have a "big pool" at their house and have turned the twins into fish! We spend many summer days visiting the zoo and had the joy of visiting the museum recently and that was a blast!

I am (trying) to savor these moments while they are young and say and do the cutest things! This new season has been easier in many ways and challenging me like I never thought possible. We are reading books about potty training and are starting to get the momentum going of how great it is to be big boys. Asher will be moving into a big boy bed before preschool starts in the fall and we anticipate that Vaughn will follow shortly after. Life is full of unanswered questions but for right now, Jerad and I are asking ourselves "What is it time for?"

Lily

A year ago today...an angel was born on Earth for a short time and she has forever changed me.

My Letter to Lily

Lily,

I wish we were celebrating your first birthday this weekend, with you....so instead we will celebrate your birthday with Heaven. I am thankful for your life and your parents. I miss you. I think of you often and wonder how the events and days would be different with your sweet presence with us, instead of hand in hand with Jesus. You are brave young one and beautiful! I want you to know how much you are missed and how your life has pushed me to be a better version of myself.

Because of you....I try to complain less and be grateful more often. I am working to cherish the small things and let go of what I can't control. We remember you each month in a different or unique way and it has been a privilege to bless someone in your honor.

I am so proud of your parents Lily. They have walked an impossible journey and have done so well in honoring you. They are strong and courageous. They are brave and willing to endure....selfless.

When I say that you will never be forgotten, I mean it. I hear a song, see a picture or read a children's book and think of you and your gentle soul. Your name will forever hold a place in my heart.

Happy 1st Birthday!

I love you Lily, xoxo

Aunt Kris

My Dad

I haven’t written a blog in about 8 months, life started moving at an accelerated rate once we moved into our new home and I am not really sure where the time has gone. We have seen so much progress in Vaughn and Asher’s development in the past couple of months and I have started to write the details down but for today I wanted to share with our friends and family some of the moments that have surround my parents recently. Most of you may know that a reporter from the Denver Post contacted my Mom about doing a story on depression, how it steals the joy and life from the person it holds prisoner and I want to share this link with the one of intent of bringing glory to God. We trust Him with my Dad’s heart and know that help will come by sharing my parents’ story…..

My Dad has struggled with depression for many years now; it first began in 1997 when I was a senior in high school. He has been on and off many different drugs and there are good years and bad years. He has struggled to find the right career since this all began and just recently we decided as a family that it was time to stop looking for a job and retire. My Mom works very hard to support them financially and care for my Dad. I am so proud of them both. They truly have lived out and understand, for better or worse, in good times and in bad, in SICKNESS and in health. Depression is ugly. It is foreign to me because I just don’t understand his state of mind because, he is my Dad. My whole life he has been this immovable rock of strength and courage. He is loving and strong and had such a witty sense of humor. He has given me the greatest gift a daughter could ask for….a relationship. Our relationship is priceless and when you feel and know that you are loved and cherished then it makes it easy to have a relationship with the Heavenly Father because my Earthly Father is such an amazing example of our strong, courageous, loving and faithful God. Even though my Dad doesn’t look, sound or act like the man God created him to be right now, that doesn’t stop me from seeing him exactly as the gentle spirit he is….one who loves deeply, has great faith and adores children. He was always fair and just as we were growing up and worked hard to support our family so my Mom could be a stay at home Mom for our childhood years. He taught us a love for family time, God’s word, camping, biking and games. There wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for my Mom, Jonathan or myself. He took me on my first date when I was in high school so I would know what to expect when courting. I loved going to dinner, just us. My parents owned a business when I turned 16 and they gave me my first job where they taught me to be on time, have respect for our customers and other employees and quality work ethic.

I am proud of my Dad for opening up their home to a team from the Denver Post and letting them into our world to show others what this disease looks like. This wasn’t easy. My parents’ heart is to help others, to shed some light into the darkness of this disease and bring about awareness. I am thankful to the Denver Post for writing down my Dad’s story and the many others that are without joy. Thank you Jennifer, Craig and Mahala for being so honoring to our family while in my parents’ home. We will not lose hope; we will choose life in the simple tasks and praise God faithfully for He is GOOD always, even when we don’t know the next step to take in this journey. We will choose joy as a family, because that is what family does and we will not allow this illness to take from us what is ours, we will stand and fight on Dad’s behalf and in the end, be united victorious when he returns to us.  

Here is the link to the stories of the individual’s interviewed, since the article was written my parents have sold their home and will be staying with us until we are blessed by their new home. Please take the time to read each testimony, ours is ¾ of the way down, titled: Edge of losing everything

 

http://extras.denverpost.com/mentalillness/index.html?source=hot-topic-bar  

 

 

What is it time for....

I don’t really know where to begin except with the question that Jerad and I were asked a couple of times in the past and then again more recently. What is it time for? Not what time is it…. And after asking ourselves this question, the answer is to move. Our realtor and dear friend Charlie, (who has become part of the family in the past 5 months) sold our home in about 48 hours, which led us to live with my parents. They have opened up their home and let the 4 of us TAKE OVER. Their loft, their fridge, their dining room (which is my office) and their free time has been consumed by not only 2 little two year olds but another set of coffee loving, dishes using adults. There are no words that adequately express how grateful and appreciative we are to them. After 5 months of searching, praying, seeking out God’s best for our family, HE (and Charlie) have found our new address in a little town, called Johnstown.

We are very excited and also a little sad too as we close this chapter of our lives with Paul’s Custom Canvas, as the reason we are taking up residence in Johnstown is because the time has come for Jerad to change careers. PCC is the company that Jerad has worked for, for the past 15 years and this decision to leave did not come without much prayer. This business stood beside us as we got married, held our hands during the early arrival of Vaughn and Asher and our first non-family member babysitter was Michele and Hanna. They have supported our wishes to travel to other countries to help show God’s light to other nations and Paul has taught Jerad more than just the trade of canvas. Even though the chapter at PCC is closing, the good news is it isn’t ending. The book isn’t finished and these co-workers who will be so lovingly missed are our friends and will continue to be part of the memories made on our new street. With all of this said, we are overjoyed at the opportunity that has arose for Jerad to begin working for his Father and alongside his big brother, Eric as a machinist.

When we put our house up for sale or moved into my parents house we had no idea that the road would lead us up North but it is so fitting that our desires are really God’s, as I have been praying for Jerad to have Saturday’s off since the day I found out we were having boys.

To My Husband, Well Done!!! Your hard work has paid off and you are blessing the boys and me with a new home that is set apart for holy living, for kingdom purpose and as for the square feet that we will be closing on, THANK YOU…… WELCOME HOME.

Watch out Johnstown, there is another set of Allbritten’s moving in!

                                                                      

                                                                                     

My Song to Vaughn

The gate is wide
The road is paved in moderation
The crowd is kind and quick to pull you in
Welcome to the middle ground
You're safe and sound and
Until now it's where I've been

'Cause it's been fear that ties me down to everything
But it's been love, Your love, that cuts the strings

So long status quo
I think I just let go
You make me want to be brave
The way it always was
Is no longer good enough
You make me want to be brave
Brave, brave

I am small
And I speak when I'm spoken to
But I am willing to risk it all
I say Your name
Just Your name and I'm ready to jump
Even ready to fall...

Why did I take this vow of compromise?
Why did I try to keep it all inside?

So long status quo
I think I just let go
You make me want to be brave
The way it always was
Is no longer good enough
You make me want to be brave
Brave, brave

I've never known a fire that didn't begin with a flame
Every storm will start with just a drop of rain
But if you believe in me
That changes everything
So long, I'm gone

The Results of the MRI

We had an MRI done on Vaughn the beginning of October and received the results that he has a tethered spinal cord. We decided to get a second opinion and after meeting with the second surgeon we scheduled the surgery for Monday. It is a rather simple procedure but none the less is still the central nervous system. We will be staying 2 nights at Children’s and asking for your prayers as Vaughn recovers. The best news of the MRI is that Vaughn’s brain is good! There is so much joy in knowing this for Jerad and I.

I cannot believe it has been 3 months since I posted an update! Asher is soooo close to walking and took a couple steps during PT for Ms. Susie and I! He is also talking so much and he is saying 2 words at a time and communicates very effectively with us. We are so proud of his development! We did go ahead and schedule an MRI for Asher in December as there is a chance that the tethered spinal cord is genetic and not environmental.

Both boys are just loving practicing walking and our backs are sore but we are thrilled to have this “problem”. Thank God for Asher’s walker! Vaughn doesn’t quite have the upper body strength to pull the walker but Jerad’s brother gave us a toy that you push and Vaughn loves it and walks with this push toy. Vaughn has started talking and signing too and it is the cutest thing! He sign’s milk and more (and says them but they sound very similar) and signs eat. He says bubbles, show and is starting to ask for his pasi. I am truly enjoying watching him learn!

We had a great Halloween; it was exactly what I wanted. We went up to Eric and Jenelle’s and trick or treated with our cousins. The twins love their “big boy” cousins and missed our “big girl” cousins. I was reminded how good it felt to be with family and the importance of making time to be together…. We want to set a presentence for Vaughn and Asher what high value God places on family and Jerad and I haven’t done a great job this far, so we will be setting a new standard going forward.

Since this is November, the month of Thanksgiving….. I want to share what I am thankful for. First and forever, JESUS. The one who made us in His image and gave us family, community and emotions. I am super blessed by a community of women whom we all share one thing in common, we have twins. These women are funny, talented and beautiful and accept me exactly as I am. We laugh together, cry together, serve together and take care of each other. I am proud to be a Darling Doubles member. My heart is glad and happy to call them family.

Being made in His image is a huge thought. I mean think about, we were made in God’s image. We studied this concept one evening with another community that we call family that we Live One Life with and as I was thinking about what I am thankful for; I realized it is emotion. That we have the ability to express faith, hope and love. And those of you who know me well know that I am a little over emotional at times (I know and understatement)and though I feel this is one of my greatest weaknesses, it is also how God shows Himself, His character to me. He has the very same emotions and uses them to teach, correct and train me into the woman He created me to be.

 

With that said I want to share a video that encompasses these things……..As you know, we waited a couple of years to become parents and were blessed to tell our family on Easter that we were expecting. At the time of the video we didn’t know that we were having twins. My Mom and Brother were not able to be there but as Jerad and I drove up to Estes Park with my Dad, we were feeling so many emotions! I already knew EXACTLY how I wanted to tell our family. God was very clear with me when He showed me that I was to marry Jerad and He did so in using our oldest nephew Sam. Both Jerad and I have a special connection with Sam as he is the first grandson and a little older than the rest of the cousins so we had the opportunity to spend some time with just him, as he has grown into the young gentleman he is today. When we got to Nana and Papa’s, Jerad took Sam aside to tell him that we were pregnant as Sam typically pray’s over the meals. We asked him to end his prayer by saying how thankful he was for the baby growing in Kristie’s belly. Looking back we should have told him to say how thankful he was that I was pregnant because, as you will see….. I think my sister Jenelle was the only one that got what he was saying!! The man hugging me at the end is my Dad and a good representation of how much our Heavenly Father feels what we feel here on earth. So enjoy a little glimpse of our family’s emotions and how I think God feels about us. May each of you be BLESSED this Thanksiving season.